Wickliffe, OH 44092
ph: 216-272-6246
bfdipso
This page will be updated with information pertinent to 12 step Recovery. We are now getting ready to produce another one of my "KEEP IT SIMPLE SERIES" DVD'S. This DVD will be about The "GROWTH STEPS". Some people refer to these as "the maintenance steps". I never wanted to maintain my recovery, I want it to grow more each day! We are hoping to have it done and ready for Reelization.com to get it out there in early 2014. Here is a story I helped write...
I helped my friend, Michael Fitzpatrick, write this story for the Book, "1000 Years of Sobriety". This man has the most sobriety in AA in the world today.
Meet Me at My Home Group
Steve P.
Sobriety date
September 2, 1946
When I was just four years old my family moved from Michigan to Cleveland, Ohio. It has been my home for the past 83 years. Our family was of Hungarian decent and drinking was no stranger to us. My dad died in a horrific automobile accident when I was very young. My drunken older brother was driving the car at the time. That tragedy made me fear alcohol to the point that I didn’t drink until I was seventeen.Once I started drinking my alcoholism progressed rapidly. I began having problems with it immediately. I had quit school in the ninth grade and was able to find employment in the tire business. Eventually I ran my own tire business. Those were tough times while the country was at war. My older brother was a serious alcoholic and there was never a shortage of alcohol or trouble for me. I drank heavily, as often as I could. Because I was young I managed to remain in pretty good health but once I started drinking I was unable to stop.My drinking became so out of control that in October of 1943 I found myself sitting in at AA meetings. It came about after I had fired a guy nick-named Red. He was a bad drunk like me. One day while drunk on the job he had almost killed himself. I had no choice but to fire him. Red came in a couple of weeks later to pick up his final pay check. I said, “Come on Red, let’s go have a drink.” His reply floored me. He said, “No, I’m not drinking today. I’ve been sober for two weeks.” I was very curious about how he had managed that. My drinking was out of control and I couldn’t quit no matter what I tried. Red told me a little bit about AA and invited me to go to the Sunday afternoon meeting at the Doan Group on Euclid Ave. The plan was to meet outside, but I arrived early. I remember climbing about twenty steps to the room above the drug store where the meeting was held. When I walked into the room I was immediately greeted by Harry R. I told Harry I was there to quit drinking. With his loud, booming voice he said, “You go in there and sit down, keep your mouth shut, and your ears open. He was a classic Irishman and a powerhouse in Cleveland AA in the early days. What a great guy! The Sunday afternoon meeting was a “training meeting” similar to a beginners’ meeting today. I was taught the steps at that meeting. Red and I went to a lot of meetings together over that first year. He was my sponsor even though he had only a couple of weeks of sobriety more than me. He was close to my brother’s age, about fifteen years older than me. After the first year we did not spend much time together; we just saw each other at meetings. I was 22 years old at the time which was very young for AA. Most of the guys in the program were in their forties and had come off of skid row. Sometimes they took me down under the bridges to show me where they use to live. They even introduced me to some of their friends on skid row. I knew I never wanted to get as bad as some of those guys had been. Somehow I managed to stay sober for close to fifteen months without really working the program. I was basically just not drinking and going to meetings. During that time I managed to marry a wonderful girl, Irene. We’ve now been together for sixty-six years. On New Year’s Eve, 1945 my younger brother was scheduled to return from the war. He was due to arrive at midnight at the Broadway Harbor Depot. The plan was for me to go to pick him up and take him to my mother’s house. All of our family and friends were gathered there to welcome him home. While we were waiting, my mother handed me a drink. Without a single thought of AA or my sobriety I drank it. I was off again! I spent the rest of the night drinking and by the time my brother arrived I was loaded. Of course I embarrassed my wife and made an ass out of myself; just as I always did. When I picked up that drink on New Year’s Eve, I had no idea that I would barely see another sober day for the next nine months. Alcohol completely took over and everything I had learned in AA was to no avail. My drinking was worse than it had ever been and I feared I would never be able to stop again. That time I really understood what the guys in AA meant when they talked about being powerless. I was just 25 years old and felt hopeless about any chance of getting sober.On Labor Day weekend of 1946 I had what turned out to be my last drink. By that time AA had really grown in the Cleveland area. Some of the members bought old Victorian homes with lots of bedrooms and converted them into hospitals for alcoholics. That weekend I was admitted into one on Euclid Ave. and 30th Street for a five day stay. They had a registered nurse and a doctor on call. That is how I started going back to AA meetings.Things were different this time. I loved my wife and I didn’t want to be a drunk. I really got involved in AA and the men I met there kept me busy every day. They never asked me if I wanted to go to a meeting they would just say, “We’ll pick you up tomorrow.”
continued...
We went everywhere! I spend a lot of time visiting jails, taking meetings to the guys. Back then we were sometimes allowed to take men from the jails to meetings and then take them back afterward. We also went to workhouses, courts, and hospitals. Old-timers back then believed in keeping newcomers busy. They knew people working with new guys and going to meetings would most likely stay sober. I was constantly surrounded by AA members, doing AA activities. AA kept me so busy my wife got mad because I wasn’t home. It took some time before I was able to find the right balance. Certainly in the beginning I really needed to be as involved as I could.Back then AA did not use the word “sponsee” when working with a recruit. They were called “babies” because they needed to learn so much and be taught how to do the program. Right away the guys had me doing twelve steps calls. Unfortunately we don’t get as many of them these days; probably because so many people coming into the program are sent by the courts and treatment centers. Doing the twelve step calls really helped me to stay sober and I wish everyone had the same opportunity. We always tried to go out in pairs but every now and then I would go on one alone because nobody else was available.I was taught to share my experience with the new man and many times I talked with his wife and family too. Once in awhile I would even talk with his employer when that seemed to be helpful. We really got to know the new prospects very well and tried to get them involved right away. We took them to meetings everyday for the first few weeks. They also went with us on twelve steps calls. We always stressed the importance of working with others. Once the new man was comfortable with meetings and had some newer members he was talking with we knew it was time to back away. Usually we did this by saying, “I’ll meet you at the meeting Tuesday. You could pick up so and so and bring him with you.” That would get the guy started and of course we always recommended that he have a sponsor. The Cleveland groups at that time still stressed the “Four Absolutes” taken from the Oxford Group. They are: Honesty, Love, Purity, and Unselfishness. Living absolute honesty was critical for me because I really needed it when doing my fourth and fifth steps. I still teach new members the “Four Absolutes”. I have always considered them to be a part of AA because that is what I was taught.Over the years there have been so many experiences I would like to share it’s hard to know where to begin. One very memorable event was attending the First International Convention held here in Cleveland in late July of 1950. There was so much excitement in Cleveland for this conference! I was able to hear Dr. Bob speak and attend a couple of meetings he attended, although I didn’t meet him personally. The lines to speak to him were so long and I thought I would have another opportunity some other time. Unfortunately he died later that same year. The program of Alcoholics Anonymous gave me a new way to live and I’ve done that successfully for over sixty-three years. Because of my friends in AA and the support I found I have been able to successfully overcome challenges that I would not have prevailed over without the program. My daughter was killed by a drunk driver a few years ago. The court asked me if I wanted to make any sentencing recommendations for the driver. Because of AA I was able to tell the judge that the man needed help and forgiveness. Since I took action I was able to be free of resentment. The man died in jail just a few years later.Earlier I mentioned that my older brother was an alcoholic. I feel blessed that I was able to get him to go to AA. He grabbed onto the program and became a very good member. He died sober a few years ago. It was wonderful being able to see him sober and enjoy sober times with him. My attitude has always been to “keep it simple” and do “first thing first”. I believe very strongly in having a home group. Mine meets on Tuesday night and I never miss a meeting. I go early to set up the chairs and make coffee. I’ve been doing it every Tuesday night since about 1951.Now that I’m older my health isn’t always good so I’m no longer sponsoring new men. But I always tell them, “I get to my home group two hours early every Tuesday. If you would like to talk to me, meet me at my home group.”
Steve passed on July 4, 2015. He was born on July 23, 1921
Copyright 2009 BFdipso, LLC. All rights reserved.
Wickliffe, OH 44092
ph: 216-272-6246
bfdipso